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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Halloween Scary House Review- Part 1


Halloween Horror Nights - 23 - RESIDENT EVIL – Universal Studios, Orlando, FL

Walking zombies invaded the grounds. Everywhere you turn. I worried about the scare actors hurting their necks or backs from all the crooked walking. We went in the park to visit the walking dead after 11 PM and used our after 11 PM fast pass. The wait time reduced to about 1/4 the time of houses 1-3 or 22.5 minutes and then on houses #4-8 only a mere five minutes!
I’ve provided my ratings after the name of haunted house with #5 being the best and #1 the worst.

1.       AMC- the Walking Dead No Safe Haven (#4) pm it was 11:45 before I noted the time, I observed the globes filled with fire at the entrance. The zombie scare actors apparently were switching shifts walking out of their haunted house still in character down the side of cattle mazes you have to walk through. The zombie at the entrance was on a collared chain and kept staring into space and comically jerking at the chain. Inside we walked through a disaster zone of a Woodbury neighborhood street that looked like it'd been hit by a hurricane with clothes and debris everywhere. Find yourself in the middle of a combat zone as humans and police alike shoot zombies in your path. End up in a derelict prison where the zombie inmates chase you out.

2.       La LLorana (#3) - an urban fantasy/legend of a woman haunting the earth searching for her dead children. You walk through lots of caverns through a castle; lit candles, wine cellars and witness the weeping witch-looking woman drown her victims to exact her revenge. Cross over a river and see her dead children on the shallow end of the river, real rocks with running water run over their lifeless bodies. A person on the floor spews liquid from his drowning lungs. More tunnels and this wild-assed old ugly mother tangled in vines jumping out at you.


3.       Afterlife: Death's vengeance (#3) - Blade the serial killer of his fellow resident inmates faces his vengeance of the deal souls after he meets his own demise via the electric chair. Many scary scenes of his Blade's evil coming through from the other dimension wielding his knife. Three-d glasses are provided to enhance the effects.


4.       Evil dead (#5) - When you first walk through a log cabin in the middle of the woods you’ll empty beer bottles and magazines littering the fireplace warmed living room indicating a normal weekend getaway. A guy is off to the right reading a very large, old looking book. You know something is wrong when you walk through life-size pages of a book, a book with legends of beasts that suck the soul out of a being and snake headed men. Then the gruesome deadites come alive to possess your soul creaking through the floorboards in tangled vines. People become possessed and are eating other humans, turning into big lizard beasts. Gross. Exit the fiery cabin relieved to escape! Creepy dead girl with long tangled black hair and exorcist face crawls out of a basement trap door the in tangled vines trying to get you before you escape!


5.       An American Werewolf in London (#5)- If you're a fan of this John Landis movie classic this is a must-see. Witness an accurate depiction of all the major scenes in the original movie. Walk into the opening scene of The Slaughtered Lamb, listen to real movie sound bites from the movie track and relive the movie right in front of you. David is warned to stay away from the moors but in the next scene, you see him attacked by a werewolf and witness his best friend Jack in front of him. The next scene takes you to David’s hospital bed where he started to have bad dreams. Walk into his nightmare and see his family is attacked by aliens in his home. See David in his sexy nurse girlfriend’s apartment and witness the groundbreaking werewolf transmission that would be the standard by which all horror flicks follow with the advent of slow-moving detailed mechanical but real looking change from man to beast. Walk through the gruesome kill scene in the tube subway, then the ultimate killing of the werewolf beast in the corner of Picadilly circus.


6.       Cabin in the woods (#5)- Something goes wrong at a science center and human experiments turned into abominable nightmares as alien headed, no headed, creatures behind protected glass rooms but they escape and wreck havoc on the experimenters …YOU.


7.       Resident Evil : Escape from Raccoon City (short but I give it a #4) - walk into a town and see Tony's Pizza outdoor with the tables turned over, police on top police cars shooting at citizens and then walk through a Laundromat where lodge lickers, hunters and Nemesis escape through the pipes and under the ground to kill you. Survey this short maze and learn that in the end that you are indeed are dead.


8.       Havoc2:Derailed (#2)- The dogs of war are genetically engineering super-soldiers bloodthirsty and bent on destruction but I found it just a lot of noisy fake machine guns and laser lights while walking through a fake pile of metal junk.


  Hope you like my review. Stay tuned for my review of Fright Fest.